Best. Haiku. Ever.

I.... have nothing to write todayyyyy.

I think I'm just tired.

Who knew being freakin' happy could be so exhausting!


But, onward!

Day three of punishment!

So uh.. let's try some poetry, shall we?

Blah blah blah blah flower
Blah blah blah blah sadness
Blah blah blah blah hope
Blah blah blah blah change
The end.

No, really. I've got nothing.

Things are so dizzy in my head, in my chest, in my stomach right now.

I'm so thrilled about some things, very upset about others.

I want to laugh and cry at the same time.

I'm gaining something new, losing something important.

Where is my balance?

Maybe it WAS better just to be numb.

No it wasnt.

I know it wasn't.

Anyway...
I need writing topics. So this doesn't happen again. Leave me some random comment to help!


This post really sucked,
I'm sorry for that I swear,
I'll try harder..... Dude.


Best. Haiku. Ever.

Hope

A light went out,
Flickering until it lost the will.
It figured; ah the end,
And still it stood;
Dark.

Years and months,
Hours and minutes,
Seconds. Moments.
Not a movement.
Not a shadow.

Then, there it was!
Something brighter than light,
More alive than shadow,
Faster spreading than darkness.
Hope.

It lit.
It spread.
It consumed.
It conquered.
It dwelled.

What resistance could be found,
For something born in purity?
Nothing.
For it is, indeed, hopeless
To hope against hope.








Day two of punishment. I have to write for *edit* SEVEN days straight.
And yeah, I know my poem got a little uh.... iffy towards the end there. I'm in a weird mood. VERY tired.

If you have any adjectives or nouns to throw at me, please leave a message after the tone.

Oh Shit....

So... I did something stupid.

I forgot to post yesterday.

And Will just LOOOOOVED rubbing my face in that one. =P

He still hasn't assigned me a punishment, but I'm sure whatever it is it will be just as vindictive as whenever I get the chance to do it to him.

On the brighter side, I've been having an amazing couple of days.

So much laughing and smiling and blushing.... and on top of it all, a little bit of fear.

When is it alright to be afraid?

When you're in danger, when you realize something horrible; those are given, right?

But what about major life choices. The big milestones.

The "holy crap. I'm growing up" moments.

When you realize that.... things are going to change. One way or another.

And when is it alright for you to jump head first into that feeling?

I am not a reckless person, all of you reading this blog known that about me.

I don't take stupid chances or make any decision without thinking it through completely and without any corner left unscowered.

And here I am.
Terrified out jof my mind.

Because I KNOW things are about to change.

But you know what, I'm alright with that.

Changes are what drive us forward, right....

Nothing is constant.
Everything is change.
Energy in never-ending, all consuming movement.

So if nothing stays the same, maybe it's time to be a little reckless.

Will let you know when I get my punishment.

Love you all!

What Powers You?

So the Deepwater Horizon oil spill is a bit of an issue as of late. With this comes a plethora of debates as to what to do, who's fault it is, and exactly how much oil is being pumped into the ocean a day. Whether they eventually decide on a few hundred thousand gallons or a few million gallons, there does seem to be a general consensus... That this spill as it stands now, is going to cause massive amounts of ecological damage. This terrible incident has put into the minds of many that maybe oil is bad and there needs to be another solution.

Now I'm not about to get all hippy about this. I understand that alternative fuel is a subject that is a lot more complex than many people would like to admit. Electrical power is not the solution as it does not get us off our dependence of oil. Electricity comes from generators that run on petroleum based fuel. The only difference is you're not getting the oil from the tap at a gas station, think of that the next time you charge up your hybrid.

Solar and Air power are still in their infancy, too small and inefficient for our daily needs. Fusion is a pipe dream years away from any applicable usage, and hydro power is dependent on massive amounts of running water, which needs to be dammed. So whats the answer, how can we remove our dependence on oil in the near future? It would seem there is no other option, but there is. Nuclear Power.

The 1950s is known as the atomic age, people believed that with atomic and nuclear power, we would enter a new age of power and technology. Unfortunately there was the cold war, America and Russia went on mass making nuclear weapons, tainting this source of power to forever be associated with destruction. With this taint, a movement in the 1970s associated with the Green Party made a mission of getting Nuclear Power Plants shut down. While they did not get the plants shut down, they did make it illegal to produce new plants.

This whole movement was based on misinformation and exaggeration, Three Mile Island and Chernobyl were used as poster children to show how dangerous nuclear power was. This made their point solid despite the fact that to this day there have been no death, illness, or ecological damage connected to Three Mile Island, and Chernobyl took place in an economically bankrupt Soviet Russia that could not afford tanks, let alone proper maintenance on a Nuclear Power Facility. Despite all of this, a powerful and almost unchangeable paranoia was connected to Nuclear Power, but now is really the time for the reemergence.

Right now there are about a hundred and three plants currently operating in the United States, and as I have mentioned the building of new plants was banned almost fifty years ago. Even with how safe our existing plants really are, there are new, safer, more efficient plants we cannot build. If we lifted this ban, with a couple hundred plants, we could remove our dependence on non-automotive oil, and within a few short years, be completely free of foreign oil. This would end up drastically changing the world economy and international relations, as well as lighten our imprint on this world.

Safety, of course, is what comes up when this issue is brought to life. As safe as we can make it, Nuclear Power Plants still produce radioactive waste. Currently this waste is stored at the individual sites, but a receptacle is currently being built in Yucca Mountain, Nevada. This miles deep hole would act as a place to store radioactive waste as oppose to storing it in the individual facilities, which as of now have limited amount of space. This hole in the ground, built specifically to hold this waste in a safe manner, is currently slated to be operational in 2014, if it doesn't have it's funding cut, something of which the Obama administration is trying to do.

And if you mention the dangers of attack, well, you're living in fear. I'll admit it's a possibility, however unlikely, but can you really hide behind that rationale? Can you tell me we shouldn't build skyscrapers now due to the threat of attack? The irrational fear of attack comes with any and everything, and sometimes we just have to brave the risk and accept we cannot know everything. But think of this, we currently now have over a hundred Nuclear Power Plants active, and there have been no attacks.

Sixty years ago man envisioned and enlightened age of atomic power. An energy source seemingly limitless, a power that we could produce with no foreign dependence. It was tainted, warped, and twisted by a militant arms race and misinformed environmentalists. But it's still a possibility, we hear the same old story of man seeking out an alternative energy source, when in fact it was discovered decades ago. Now, here today, we have the ability to make that power even better, safer, more efficient. But we're held back by our unjust fear and ignorance. This solution is not only available, but viable. So why aren't we using it?

The people around the Gulf of Mexico wouldn't oppose Nuclear Power if it would have prevented what's happening there today.

Changes In Reflection

When I was little
I played by a pond
The most beautiful pond I could know.

I played princess and traveler,
Made stories of love,
The fantasies oh so real.

When I was little,
I thought a kiss was the end,
The story need not go any further.

I thought it was to meet,
To fall, to love, to kiss.
The end, no more

When I grew older,
I kept my hopes,
Thinking a kiss could solve it all.

I dreamt and I waited,
Knowing it had to be so.
Just a kiss and that's all I would need.

When I grew older,
I found out the truth.
A kiss is not the fix.

I opened my eyes,
Took a good look around.
And realized there is so much more than a kiss.

But when I was little,
I played by a pond.
The most beautiful pond I could know.

I returned to that pond,
Looked around it once more,
And realized it was all just a dream.

Schindler's Law

Well, I've certainly been in a cheery mood as of late, haven't I? Maybe I should switch up my game a bit, talk about something a little more upbeat. Maybe I should get out of this funk and discuss something uplifting and happy. Go back to my roots and speak on motivation and drive rather than real world issues and depression. Make something that puts a smile on your face... or I can talk about Arizona's new law regarding immigration.

Yes it's been the talk of the internet for a while now, a bill that takes some unorthodox methods of enforcement. The bill has struck up massive amounts of controversy all over the country, people are angry, and the level of foolishness is really growing on both sides here. The bill basically states that all immigrants within the state must carry their residency card and identification on them at all times. It goes on to state that a police officer may question any person they believe to be an illegal immigrant at any time without cause. The logic here is that this will help cull on the number of illegal immigrant's within the state, and dissuade laborer's from hiring illegals.

The counter is quite obvious. They scream racism, they make remarks to Nazi Germany, they are in a word, upset. The two sides of the argument have become so overblown I really did not want to throw my hat in and associate with either side of this debate, the people in this argument are so red faced, they seem to be blinding themselves to their own interpretations. People at the heart of this argument lobby insults and accusations over the line from the hip, they don't allow themselves to calm, they just try and shout over each other.

I'm going to say this point blank, this law isn't racist. I know, you're shocked, how can it not be Racist? It's a bill that specifically targets Mexican Immigrants, and that's Racist. Well, no... The problem is that I see no real intent, and without intent, it's not racism. What it is, though, is profiling. Now you may say that profiling is just a stones throw away from racism, there is a vast difference between the two. Here we have people bleating that this is an attack against Mexicans, against Latinos, against a people! No, it's not. Stop saying that.

This is not an attack on Latinos, it is an attempt to better spot people living in this illegally. Now, say what you will about your opinions on illegal immigrants or undocumented workers, whatever term you prefer, but the simple truth of the matter is they are not here legally. These are people who are not paying taxes, people who tend to send money back to Mexico and not here which does not aide the Economy, and undercut legal working wages by so much that legal citizen's cannot get certain employment. Now, what to do with this, whether we send them all back or legalize all immigrant's currently living here is a completely different issue. This is about a bill that is not racist...

It's just stupid.

I'm not sure what they were thinking over there in Arizona, but this law is just massively wrong. The difference between racism and profiling may be great, but they're both generally wrong. Here we have a police officer that can now, at any time, walk up and accost you without cause. They can demand you to hand over identification and proof of citizenship or residency. This is of course a massive invasion of privacy and civil rights. The cops cannot do anything to you without cause, otherwise would be persecution without evidence, which is very much wrong.

I can see what this law is trying to accomplish. The problem is that illegal immigration is such a heavy issue, with so many sides and complexities that it cannot just be solved. You cannot give yourself the unjust power to search these people out and throw them on a truck back home, especially not when this power is a direct injustice to people who are here legally, and therefore have the right to be protected from the government sticking their nose into their lives without just cause.

Honestly, the people on both sides of this issue annoy me somewhat. With people screaming racism and fascism without even realizing that illegal immigration, whatever your viewpoint of it is, is illegal. The other side throws back the need to protect the working class citizen, to keep employers from hiring illegally, without even contemplating that the ends do not justify the means. It's all mind numbingly insane, and makes me just want to shake my head until it all blows over.

But then, Manda made me talk about it today.

Wish It Was Simple

Where were you that night,
When the screams came,
When the tears fell,
When the world ended?

Where were you,
When I was the walking dead,
When I was the empty eyes,
When I was the abused?

Oh, I know where you were,
You were hiding.
You were afraid.
You were standing idly by, watching my demise.

I know where you were,
You liar, betrayer.
Disloyal. Gone but there.
You let me down.

You want to come up now,
Now that the dust has settled.
Now that I am free and able.
Now that it's clear.

You want in.
You want out.
You want a voice.
You want to fix it.

You can't.
Why?
Where were you when I needed you?
Where were you?

I will never forgive you.,
Because you lost yourself.
I lost myself.
And I don't know how to find me again.

Dug in Deep

I'm writing now, at ten in the morning, not because I'm a responsible guy who wants to get his duties done right quick, but because I'm pretty sure that by the time I get home from work I will be too exhausted to think, let alone write coherently. I've been up since nine last night, which has left me a lot of time to think over some things. I'm not in a great position right now, with ten hour work weeks, bills that continue to pile up, and the desire to have at least a little money for myself creating serious budgeting issues. I find myself with two dollars in my bank account, and a disconnected cell phone. My last two cable bills had to be paid by someone in my family, and I have yet to pay back the two hundred dollars I owe between my step-father and brother.

I'm in a hole, packed in so tightly I can barely move. I can't get more scheduled hours, and despise taking cover shifts. Prospects of another job are slim and would only lead to another position where I despise the notion of walking into work. I don't have the money to pay off my expenses and have a little on the side for myself, and it's starting to get to me. Life can do that, when everything seems to collapse in on you at once. You find yourself in a position where forward seems almost impossible, where life just seems to stop you from progressing. It's hard, at these times, to find some footing, you have so much to deal with, where is the first step?

It's in these times, these harrowing times of overwhelming odds, that finding that first step is so crucial. You may find it hard to move forward, but it's the only way to go. You can't stay where you are or the world will eventually suffocate you. But more important than taking that first step forward, is taking a step back. Find your footing, steel yourself, and start climbing out of that hole. It's gonna be hard, it's not gonna be fun, but with some hope, you'll find yourself in a better place soon enough.

I have had a rough couple of weeks. My financial and employment woes have taken a toll on me emotionally, frustration and erratic work has left me with a horrible sleep cycle. I feel sullen and dull, I lash out at my friends. I have a choice to make, two options. I can stay where I am, I can budget myself even more strictly, hope that the money I pull in can keep up with the bills, hope that something unexpected doesn't come up. Or, I can grit my teeth and move forward, start taking more cover shifts, start saving instead of budgeting...

Really, just dig my foot in and start climbing out of this hole.

Draw A Line

Things were different then,
All laughs, smiles and glowing eyes.
Thought we could make it through anything.
We had no idea what we were up against.

Liars, thieves, stolen dreams;
They were what we found.
And as we watched,
Our naive natures got ripped apart.

But would we go back,
To the empty feeling of general happiness?
Become unaware again,
Unknowing of the truth in matters.

Is it better to splendor in ignorance,
Blissfully unaware of the pain, of reality?
Or to suffer, to waste, to overcome,
To know what it is we face and to beat it, head on?

Things are different now,
All tired glances, tilted lips and dull eyes.
But now we know we can make it through anything.
We faced the horrors and know what we're up against.

Are you the President? Theres an App for That.

So President Obama said some interesting things the other day, coming out against instant media. The target of his speech were devices such as the Xbox 360, the Playstation 3, Iphones, and Ipads. He seemed to be going against what is essentially the evolution of news and media from sources like newspapers and television to the internet. This whole issue baffled me since a large portion of Obama's campaign was Internet based. Here is the man who stated that he would use sites like YouTube to give the people more access to the daily workings of the White House, create transparency, and give us all some hand in molding our own government.

This only baffled me for a moment until I started to read into the article a bit more. From the quotes, the President seems to be chiding not the devices or the internet itself, but how easy misinformation can be spread. But I have to say, it still seems like smacking the man who gave you your golden ticket. With statement's like "With iPods and iPads and Xboxes and PlayStations, -- none of which I know how to work -- information becomes a distraction, a diversion, a form of entertainment, rather than a tool of empowerment, rather than the means of emancipation" it becomes clear that he's not necessarily against the devices, but how the information is taken in.

I can't help but disagree with the man, who boldly claims he has no idea how these devices actually work. Yes there is a danger in misinformation, for a small trivial issue to snowball into a huge mess of misinformed sheep bleating out on something they don't understand, but this massive access to information from anywhere provides something that is so much greater than the risk. The massive amount of information to be accessed at any given time gives all of us the ability to fact check for ourselves, I can read about an issue, and actually go on to study it. I couldn't do that twenty years ago without a 15 minute drive and a library card.

It's all about having common sense, or as I like to call it, a BS Filter. The ability to be grossly misinformed by a nonofficial news source forces people to question what they're told, to see for themselves what is true, and what isn't, as opposed to having to take the talking head's word for it. This massive availability of information allows us all to be involved, to know whats happening in more than just our own backyard. We can at any time find out what the weather is, who was in that movie we're thinking of, what the traffic report is, and what our government is doing that may effect us.

These tools of instant information are not polluting out minds, these devices are not for entertainment, they're tools for us to learn. Obama went on to say how important being informed was, that knowledge is too important to be trivialized as entertainment. I have one thing to say to Obama right now... Learn. Learn how these tools are used. Pick up an iPad and go searching for an American History text book, take out an iPhone and go to WhiteHouse.gov, grab an Xbox controller and play a game of Call of Duty so you can know that it is for entertainment, and doesn't sensationalize knowledge. Realize, please, that these devices you're talking about are doing the exact thing you're asking us to do, keeping us informed and giving us the knowledge we need.

Just remember to keep that BS Filter on.