Forced Family

Way back when we first started this little site Manda discussed how important her family was to her. Back then she also wanted each of out sequential articles to be related in some way. As you can see that has not been the case, but now I've decided to throw my hat in on this whole Family thing, mostly inspired by this weekend's barbecue where they were all nice and present. And I have to say, in all honesty, I don't like my family...

In fact, I rather dislike the most of them. Now qualifiers need to be stated, I am only talking about my distant family, I love each and every single person who lives with me in my household, why? Cause those are the people I've grown with, the people who have been in my life from day one. But my uncles, my aunt, cousins, and to a small degree even my sister... Well, I don't want anything to do with them. Whenever these people are here I holed up in my room, I avoid them at all cost. All interaction is as limited as possible. Little words, no eye contact, avoid shaking hands.

Now you may be thinking that I'm cold, that I'm so rude and disrespectful. This is my family! I should love them all because they're who I come from. I have to ask... why? Why do we expect people to endure people they would in any other circumstance despise simply because there is some limited genetic link between them? My relatives outside of my household are people I would never associate with in any way if we were strangers. If I met these people on the streets, I would genuinely dislike them...

Family to me is not blood. My mother's husband may not be my father but he is more family to me that my aunt or uncles will ever be. He is someone I often disagree with, we have different viewpoints on many issues, and we have gotten into heated arguments over the years that I've known him, but I know he's a good man and that is what makes him my family. The entire idea that being linked by blood means anything is ridiculous to me, when it's so much more meaningful to be linked by life. Your family shouldn't be the ones your expected to love, they should be the ones you've come to love over time.

Blood is thicker than water, but water tastes a lot better.