While working I received a call from my home. Answering I came to hear my brother's voice, quite angry, complaining how he couldn't get on the network. My family has been having issues with their DSL in the vain that Verizon are inept, so I have been allowing them on my Cable line. Confused at my brothers accusations to me shutting off my router, I assured him that the router was on. This came to two possibilities, my router was not working, or my cable had been shut off. I thought the former.
I came home to find out there was a hiccup in the router, and that simply resetting it fixed the problem. But all day I found myself pondering as to what happened. Not knowing what was going on and being unable to find out. The mind seems to go to the worst place at times like this, and it makes me wonder why this happens? Why do we always assume the worse? Why is it when we have only half the information do we make wild jumps in conclusions?
I think it might be a defense mechanism. We go to that place to prepare ourselves, to make ourselves ready for whats to come. So that when we finally come to find out all the information we don't stumble and fall. We assume the worse to protect ourselves, to keep ourselves out of danger. And what a relief comes when you find that it was nothing to worry about. That swell of euphoria that washes over us when we find out that every things okay. We chuckle a bit at how silly it was that we fretted so much over it.
So don't worry, be happy.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Friday, April 9, 2010
Frustration
There are things in our lives that we simply cannot control, some are good some are bad, and some simply exist to frustrate. Those things, they can't really be changed or altered, but they bring you down to such a level you simply want to scream. These things, these frustrating things, get you so worked up in your life that it becomes easy to miss the good things.
I've found that most of the times the most frustrating things in the world are the small things. You stub your toe, you overslept and become late for work, your bills all come in at once. These small things, which in of themselves don't do much to hamper you, end up tainting your entire day. You spend hours thinking about nothing but these frustrations, you obsess over them and become sullen, you gripe and you become angry, for no real reason.
This frustration infects you, it makes you sad, it makes you mad, it can come to depression. All day you feel down and sluggish, all day you just don't want to deal with anything else. All the downs make you feel worse, and all the ups just come as small and ineffectual. You come to the point you just want to stop, you want to give up and just not work for anything anymore. The entire world is against you, in your mind, so why try and fight against impossible odds. There's no point to it... is there?
My current frustration is financial as of late. I'm barely pulling in 10-15 hours a week as of later, I'm not getting the money I need to pay my bills and make myself happy. Last night I checked my paycheck, expecting to find the money I would need for the next two weeks, and a little left over for a present to a friend. This present would have made her happy, and it would have made me happy. I found my lowest paycheck I have ever gotten from this company that I wasn't on vacation for a week. I found that a large chunk of this small check had to go to a bill, I could not afford the gift.
This morning I was awoken to the sound of my phone ringing. Answering the call it was a bill collector, he told me the balance I owed was about to go to collections. I was forced to inform him I simply did not have the money to pay a minimum fee, and it was the truth. Giving him the money would have left scraps in my bank account, and leave me with no cash for two weeks. I put down the phone and started to get ready for work, tired, frustrated, and generally sour.
Being broke is not fun. I've never had a lot of money, and usually have to go paycheck to paycheck. But it's never been like this, I've always managed to keep up with my bills, I've always managed to have a little on the side for myself. This is the longest stretch of time I've had to struggle to keep up, struggle to keep money in my account until the next paycheck. It's crushing, it's infuriating, it's out of my control. I stand here, dulled to the situation... I don't know what to do now. It's become too much for me to handle. I need something to happen.
I'm just not in an uplifting mood today.
I've found that most of the times the most frustrating things in the world are the small things. You stub your toe, you overslept and become late for work, your bills all come in at once. These small things, which in of themselves don't do much to hamper you, end up tainting your entire day. You spend hours thinking about nothing but these frustrations, you obsess over them and become sullen, you gripe and you become angry, for no real reason.
This frustration infects you, it makes you sad, it makes you mad, it can come to depression. All day you feel down and sluggish, all day you just don't want to deal with anything else. All the downs make you feel worse, and all the ups just come as small and ineffectual. You come to the point you just want to stop, you want to give up and just not work for anything anymore. The entire world is against you, in your mind, so why try and fight against impossible odds. There's no point to it... is there?
My current frustration is financial as of late. I'm barely pulling in 10-15 hours a week as of later, I'm not getting the money I need to pay my bills and make myself happy. Last night I checked my paycheck, expecting to find the money I would need for the next two weeks, and a little left over for a present to a friend. This present would have made her happy, and it would have made me happy. I found my lowest paycheck I have ever gotten from this company that I wasn't on vacation for a week. I found that a large chunk of this small check had to go to a bill, I could not afford the gift.
This morning I was awoken to the sound of my phone ringing. Answering the call it was a bill collector, he told me the balance I owed was about to go to collections. I was forced to inform him I simply did not have the money to pay a minimum fee, and it was the truth. Giving him the money would have left scraps in my bank account, and leave me with no cash for two weeks. I put down the phone and started to get ready for work, tired, frustrated, and generally sour.
Being broke is not fun. I've never had a lot of money, and usually have to go paycheck to paycheck. But it's never been like this, I've always managed to keep up with my bills, I've always managed to have a little on the side for myself. This is the longest stretch of time I've had to struggle to keep up, struggle to keep money in my account until the next paycheck. It's crushing, it's infuriating, it's out of my control. I stand here, dulled to the situation... I don't know what to do now. It's become too much for me to handle. I need something to happen.
I'm just not in an uplifting mood today.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Do What You Want 'Cause A Pirate is Free
I have on my computer many files in which I would be dishonest in referring to as... legal. Movies, television, music, all these things and more sit on my hard drive. I'm a geek, media is my forte. But then I'm also poor, and the Star Trek: The Next Generation DVD set still runs about three hundred and twenty dollars. It's a conundrum, if I had the money I would be more than willing to purchase it, but I don't. So am I so wrong in simply finding it online?
Well, yes.
I find it interesting how the internet culture, and even mainstream culture has vilified the RIAA and MPAA, who are technically the good guys in this little fight for rights. Here we have the people responsible for producing a product and putting it out to market, and another group of people come by and steal that product... How did the thieves become the good guys? Why are so many people rooting for pirates, why are so many people able to become pirates without any moral dilemma?
It's because the MPAA and RIAA make themselves such easy villains. Here we have two groups of people so willing to punish everyone for the crimes of a few. Vaguely legal DRMs install themselves on your computer without your knowledge, many of these programs are harmful and difficult to remove from your system. Movies in the Theaters have anti-piracy commercials stating how wrong stealing movies is to a group of people who just paid for that movie. DVDs as well have these anti-piracy commercials, unskippable, which never reaches the actual pirates as any decent bootlegger can simply remove that trailer without effort. Both companies severely skew the numbers and state that piracy is hurting the industry a lot more than it is. They sue people for thousands of dollars and throw them in jail for months if not years, and for what? A couple MP3s?
So what is the solution? How can these people in the moral right, stop looking like such villains to us? It's pretty simple, all they need to do is embrace digital distribution. By investing in technology that will help keep their products protected, cut down the price from hard copy distribution, and encourage a system that's easy to use and nearly instant, more people will be willing to purchase this media. The forefront of technology and media is changing rapidly, these people are fighting an archaic battle using intimidation and unfair punishment. By easing back and instead trying to develop new technology instead of protecting the old, their standing in the public eye will greatly shift.
In the end, though, there will always be piracy, and they need to accept that. Most all retailers have what they call a Shrink Quota, an amount of theft they accept and account for. Sure they try to actively keep theft down, but they also know it's impossible to stop. The industry is not losing the money they claim, and the artists are not going broke from piracy. What the companies need to do is simply back off a tiny bit, and continue making the things we actually want to spend money on.
Yo ho.
Well, yes.
I find it interesting how the internet culture, and even mainstream culture has vilified the RIAA and MPAA, who are technically the good guys in this little fight for rights. Here we have the people responsible for producing a product and putting it out to market, and another group of people come by and steal that product... How did the thieves become the good guys? Why are so many people rooting for pirates, why are so many people able to become pirates without any moral dilemma?
It's because the MPAA and RIAA make themselves such easy villains. Here we have two groups of people so willing to punish everyone for the crimes of a few. Vaguely legal DRMs install themselves on your computer without your knowledge, many of these programs are harmful and difficult to remove from your system. Movies in the Theaters have anti-piracy commercials stating how wrong stealing movies is to a group of people who just paid for that movie. DVDs as well have these anti-piracy commercials, unskippable, which never reaches the actual pirates as any decent bootlegger can simply remove that trailer without effort. Both companies severely skew the numbers and state that piracy is hurting the industry a lot more than it is. They sue people for thousands of dollars and throw them in jail for months if not years, and for what? A couple MP3s?
So what is the solution? How can these people in the moral right, stop looking like such villains to us? It's pretty simple, all they need to do is embrace digital distribution. By investing in technology that will help keep their products protected, cut down the price from hard copy distribution, and encourage a system that's easy to use and nearly instant, more people will be willing to purchase this media. The forefront of technology and media is changing rapidly, these people are fighting an archaic battle using intimidation and unfair punishment. By easing back and instead trying to develop new technology instead of protecting the old, their standing in the public eye will greatly shift.
In the end, though, there will always be piracy, and they need to accept that. Most all retailers have what they call a Shrink Quota, an amount of theft they accept and account for. Sure they try to actively keep theft down, but they also know it's impossible to stop. The industry is not losing the money they claim, and the artists are not going broke from piracy. What the companies need to do is simply back off a tiny bit, and continue making the things we actually want to spend money on.
Yo ho.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Hot Enough for You?
Weathers a funny thing, we tie so much to it. Our activities, social events, travel time, even our emotions are linked to weather or not the sun is shining. With so much linked to weather, it's a wonder that we don't understand more about it. Go on, think about it... In any given year how often is the weather man 100% right?
I happen to live in New Jersey, which means Mother Nature is Schizophrenic, don't believe me? For the past three days the weather has been mild and beautiful, coming in somewhere between 60 and 70 degrees (Fahrenheit), today it shot up to 90. No warning, no build up, just bam it's middle of July heat in April. I know I'm not the only one who noticed this, as at 5am this morning we had a brown out. Let me say that again, it's one week into April, and we're already having brown outs.
Being the internet addict I am, I'm always told to stop complaining. I get people from Arizona telling me about 120 degree summers, people from Florida (not you Manda) telling me about humidity, people all over telling me about how their weather is more extreme. Here's the thing though, their weather is extreme, but constant. People in Arizona rarely have a winter reach below 60 degrees, you wanna know what Jersey gets in winter? Teens.
My winter is cold, my summer is hot. I don't have the luxury to adjust to the climate, because it's so varied. But that also means I'm well suited go anywhere. I'm not gonna swelter in the south, I'm not gonna become frigid in mid-eastern winters. I belong nowhere in the climate scale, so I belong everywhere.
Whats the weather like where you're from?
I happen to live in New Jersey, which means Mother Nature is Schizophrenic, don't believe me? For the past three days the weather has been mild and beautiful, coming in somewhere between 60 and 70 degrees (Fahrenheit), today it shot up to 90. No warning, no build up, just bam it's middle of July heat in April. I know I'm not the only one who noticed this, as at 5am this morning we had a brown out. Let me say that again, it's one week into April, and we're already having brown outs.
Being the internet addict I am, I'm always told to stop complaining. I get people from Arizona telling me about 120 degree summers, people from Florida (not you Manda) telling me about humidity, people all over telling me about how their weather is more extreme. Here's the thing though, their weather is extreme, but constant. People in Arizona rarely have a winter reach below 60 degrees, you wanna know what Jersey gets in winter? Teens.
My winter is cold, my summer is hot. I don't have the luxury to adjust to the climate, because it's so varied. But that also means I'm well suited go anywhere. I'm not gonna swelter in the south, I'm not gonna become frigid in mid-eastern winters. I belong nowhere in the climate scale, so I belong everywhere.
Whats the weather like where you're from?
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Experience
It comes to my attention, that attempting to be a columnist with my lifestyle is difficult. I'm a young man living in a suburb. I rarely go out, and when I do, it's to a movie or a food joint. My job is slinging movies at a rental retail establishment, hardly an exciting job for a hardly exciting life. Why do I bring this up? Well, each time it's my day to write, I sit here and wonder what I will write about, and it comes to be more and more difficult with each passing day.
My opinions become more and more philosophical, my stories are lacking if not nonexistent, I talk to my audience like a motivational speaker. Now I do enjoy these articles, talking about the nature of life, it's troubles from a metaphysical sense, not about what actually challenges us, but how we challenge ourselves mentally... But then, that's not the meat and potatoes of what I want to be as a writer.
I write opinion pieces, I need to start displaying my opinions. Need to start writing about things that matter. What I need to do is get out more, experience something, have a story to tell my readers that can be woven into some overarching point. I need to make my job easier for me. Start talking about the actual blocks and not the metaphysical blocks.
Need to get some real experience.
My opinions become more and more philosophical, my stories are lacking if not nonexistent, I talk to my audience like a motivational speaker. Now I do enjoy these articles, talking about the nature of life, it's troubles from a metaphysical sense, not about what actually challenges us, but how we challenge ourselves mentally... But then, that's not the meat and potatoes of what I want to be as a writer.
I write opinion pieces, I need to start displaying my opinions. Need to start writing about things that matter. What I need to do is get out more, experience something, have a story to tell my readers that can be woven into some overarching point. I need to make my job easier for me. Start talking about the actual blocks and not the metaphysical blocks.
Need to get some real experience.
Monday, April 5, 2010
Complete
You know, we all have chapters in our lives, some long, some short. Some of these chapters are arduous, some are simple... Some come welcome, some we despise. But they all, eventually, come to an end. And each time a chapter is closed, good or bad, we feel elated.
A time in our life has just passed, an achievement, a journey, a trial of endurance. Something was completed, and it we can watch it shrink in the distance as we move forward with our days. Even when it ends in a way we would rather it not... we can still smile knowing that it is all behind us. An ended chapter leaves us refreshed, it leaves us free.
There's a blank page now, the blissfully unknown, nothing to endure, nothing to test, trudge through, or rise above. Nothing to work against, nothing to work on, nothing to work up. The future becomes ours, the next chapter new and exciting, wonder fills us as we contemplate what will come next, elation fills us as we know we can complete that chapter too.
Chapters come, and chapters go, good and bad they all help us grow in the end. Sometimes they're long, they hold us back for a time we wish we could have moved forward with, but even those chapters we hate, those we despise, they help us become more than what we were. They teach us something about ourselves, about the world. And they always end... eventually.
It's over.
A time in our life has just passed, an achievement, a journey, a trial of endurance. Something was completed, and it we can watch it shrink in the distance as we move forward with our days. Even when it ends in a way we would rather it not... we can still smile knowing that it is all behind us. An ended chapter leaves us refreshed, it leaves us free.
There's a blank page now, the blissfully unknown, nothing to endure, nothing to test, trudge through, or rise above. Nothing to work against, nothing to work on, nothing to work up. The future becomes ours, the next chapter new and exciting, wonder fills us as we contemplate what will come next, elation fills us as we know we can complete that chapter too.
Chapters come, and chapters go, good and bad they all help us grow in the end. Sometimes they're long, they hold us back for a time we wish we could have moved forward with, but even those chapters we hate, those we despise, they help us become more than what we were. They teach us something about ourselves, about the world. And they always end... eventually.
It's over.
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Nothing to See Here
Do to some personal issues (IE me being lazy and unmotivated) the blog will not be updated again until Monday April 5th. This will give me some time to refresh myself and maybe find some motivation. We will also kick off the week with my DOUBLE punishment, that being seven days of posts written to Manda.
See you then,
-Will
See you then,
-Will
Friday, April 2, 2010
Limits
Limits come up a lot, the peak of our ability, the most we can do. They are things to beat, challenges. There are limits of strength, endurance, brains, and time. Time limits being the most infuriating, it's not about simply knowing more, lifting more, or lasting more, it's pure pressure.
A bolder rests over your head, in five minutes, it drops and crushes you. Write an original opinion piece in that time. Feel that? The pressure build, the anxiety, the crushing feeling more powerful than the rock above? You get nervous, you get sloppy, you slow down. Can't slow, must keep going.
Every fauter, ever hiccup, every strain of the mind is more seconds wasted, it gets harder to pick it up again, harder to begin where you left off, hard to get motivated. It all comes crashing down on top of you, before the time even ends.
You work fast, faster than you should, you don;t look back, don't second guess. It doesn't matter what comes out, you need to produce before that rock falls. It's coming to the end now, you feel the pressure of the rock on your back, your heart pounds, you finish that last sentance...
Did you make it?
A bolder rests over your head, in five minutes, it drops and crushes you. Write an original opinion piece in that time. Feel that? The pressure build, the anxiety, the crushing feeling more powerful than the rock above? You get nervous, you get sloppy, you slow down. Can't slow, must keep going.
Every fauter, ever hiccup, every strain of the mind is more seconds wasted, it gets harder to pick it up again, harder to begin where you left off, hard to get motivated. It all comes crashing down on top of you, before the time even ends.
You work fast, faster than you should, you don;t look back, don't second guess. It doesn't matter what comes out, you need to produce before that rock falls. It's coming to the end now, you feel the pressure of the rock on your back, your heart pounds, you finish that last sentance...
Did you make it?
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Blocked
Over the past couple weeks I've talked a lot about preforming projects, especially creatively. I've talked about motivation, time, and the difficulty of starting a project. One thing I've hinted at but never addressed is the dreaded Writers Block. The infuriating inability to progress or move forward in your writing.
I can tell you first hand how frustrating it is to be unable to write. It's not lack of motivation, because I want to write, it's not lack of ideas because my mind is teeming with them. It just doesn't happen, the words don't come out right if at all. It's infuriating, it's frustrating, it gets to be depressing... You end up not wanting to write anymore.
The block makes you feel like you can't do it anymore, that you're not good enough. You stop writing all together, not wanting to try because the block is just too large to overcome. It's hard so you stop trying, you give up without really starting.
Great writers can overcome it, they push past the difficulty, and find a way to produce. All of this comes not only to writing, but any project. Sometimes you just can't find a way to go on, you find your own block in life, you want to just stop. What you need to do is just bite your lip and move on. The way to get past it is to stop thinking and just move forward even if what you're producing isn't great. You fix it later, your job is to keep moving till it becomes easier.
And now I can't think of a closing line, damn it.
I can tell you first hand how frustrating it is to be unable to write. It's not lack of motivation, because I want to write, it's not lack of ideas because my mind is teeming with them. It just doesn't happen, the words don't come out right if at all. It's infuriating, it's frustrating, it gets to be depressing... You end up not wanting to write anymore.
The block makes you feel like you can't do it anymore, that you're not good enough. You stop writing all together, not wanting to try because the block is just too large to overcome. It's hard so you stop trying, you give up without really starting.
Great writers can overcome it, they push past the difficulty, and find a way to produce. All of this comes not only to writing, but any project. Sometimes you just can't find a way to go on, you find your own block in life, you want to just stop. What you need to do is just bite your lip and move on. The way to get past it is to stop thinking and just move forward even if what you're producing isn't great. You fix it later, your job is to keep moving till it becomes easier.
And now I can't think of a closing line, damn it.
Absence
It may be apparent, that I missed my day yesterday. What happened was I forgot. It simply slipped my mind, there is little else to say beyond that. It's not the best excuse in the world, but that's the truth of the matter, and I must now make up for it. Five days of writing, I will be writing until Wednesday. I really don't know if I can do it, but we'll see.
Missing things in general is an undesirable experience, not being there, missing out, being absent... The things you miss may never come again. You lose the chance to make an experience, lose the ability to have a memory. Work, school, work, social engagements, each have a chance to have us experience something new.
But then, how many times have you missed out on something because you were at work, because you had school, or needed to attend a party somewhere else? We again lose on experience, and now it's not even our fault. We've missed something great so we wouldn't miss something we don't enjoy. With all the chances to miss something, it can come to make you indecisive about where to be.
How many times have you played hookie in your life? How many times was the experience worth it, how many times did you miss something because you weren't there? Nobody can be everywhere at once, and none of us can predict the experiences we will encounter, so how do we decide where to go and when? How do we make the most of our time, minimize the chance of being absent?
Flexibility. Make sure you don't work too much, make sure you're hot at home all the time. Start living, be as many places as you can be. Make sure all life's experiences are available to you, that you can get to them and enjoy them. Make sure you're out in the world and most importantly, don't worry too much about what you might miss while you're out there. The experience you have there might top whatever your experience you might have had here.
All I know for sure is... Manda missed one of her days first.
Missing things in general is an undesirable experience, not being there, missing out, being absent... The things you miss may never come again. You lose the chance to make an experience, lose the ability to have a memory. Work, school, work, social engagements, each have a chance to have us experience something new.
But then, how many times have you missed out on something because you were at work, because you had school, or needed to attend a party somewhere else? We again lose on experience, and now it's not even our fault. We've missed something great so we wouldn't miss something we don't enjoy. With all the chances to miss something, it can come to make you indecisive about where to be.
How many times have you played hookie in your life? How many times was the experience worth it, how many times did you miss something because you weren't there? Nobody can be everywhere at once, and none of us can predict the experiences we will encounter, so how do we decide where to go and when? How do we make the most of our time, minimize the chance of being absent?
Flexibility. Make sure you don't work too much, make sure you're hot at home all the time. Start living, be as many places as you can be. Make sure all life's experiences are available to you, that you can get to them and enjoy them. Make sure you're out in the world and most importantly, don't worry too much about what you might miss while you're out there. The experience you have there might top whatever your experience you might have had here.
All I know for sure is... Manda missed one of her days first.
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