In this society, people have expectations of you.
Grow up. Get married. Spawn like crazy.
And when those expectations are not met to a T, some people get a bit... huffy.
People are all about political correctness these days and yet they continue to assume that women should find a partner to be complete and that men need to horse around for a few years before settling down. Just a little slice of bullshit, if you ask me.
Women do not need a partner, whether a man, another woman, hermaphrodite or any other gender assignment role (or lack thereof), to be complete. And no, don't EVEN say "yeah, that's what cats are for" you ignorant, idiotic PRAT. The double standard of society is overwhelming to me as I start to experience it.
I can say I want to go out and have a good time without any sort of commitment being involved. People automatically assume that only sluts, whores or idiots go out and have a one night stand. Darling, I hate to break it to you but you're just a bit upset because you can't get any of the aforementioned types of women to go home with you, let alone a respectable one that just wants a bit of a rough and tumble.
I know. I can't stick to a topic to save my life. That's why I RANT not write amazing opinion pieces like my partner (I mean, holy crap did you READ yesterdays post?).
Anyway.
Point: Let me find myself before I find someone else.
And don't get pissy when I "find" a few other people on the way.
Every day is a
New chance to learn a little
Something about you
-M
18 comments:
Please do not mind if I go a little Brit, for a second. Spot on hon. I totally agree with this post & even if you just rant, in my opinion they are still unbelievable piece of writing.
Well said, I get so upset when people hold me even as a male to a standard! People need worry about themselves, good advice is just that, let me decide who and what I'll do. I loved this rant, don't ever let someone else decide your choices!
Thank you for the comment! I was feeling very... self righteous when I wrote this... People don't get that this is a new century and I am more than capable of making my own choices. ESPECIALLY when it comes to my body.
I fully agree. People have no sense of imagination. We all assume things about others and it's not healthy. It's not that hard to just not assume or theorize.
Can you maybe change "a hermaphrodite" to "anything else" or something like that? "Hermaphrodite" is an outdated, frequently-misused word that just doesn't sit well with me; I know it was meant to be inclusive of people like me, but it doesn't describe me.
George, this entire post is about not conforming to social norms. So why, pray tell, would I then decide to conform to your PERSONAL beliefs. I am my own person, dear heart. I'm sorry it doesn't "Sit well with you" but perhaps you should analyze what the implications are of this upsetting you so much when it is merely in a post of a woman's thoughts. ^_^
Thanks for reading.
Oh and..
"Hermaphrodite- one having both male and female sexual characteristics and organs; at birth an unambiguous assignment of male or female cannot be made."
-Manda
Of course it upsets me that the only options you see for a person to be are man, woman, and hermaphrodite. I am not any of those things. Of course it upsets me that you don't seem to think I could, or should, be the way I am.
Love, I believe anyone should be anyway they wish to be. The post I made was not a review, attack or commentary on gender assignment or roles.
Stop making assumptions.
I did not mean to make assumptions. It does, however, sting that people like me are not even on the list of people who might be a partner for you, for anyone.
Darling, it was not intended that way. And the fact that you're taking it that way shows a bit of insecurity.
George, I am not so sure why you're so upset with this word. The only reason I can think of is that you are transgendered or transsexual, neither of which Manda mentioned. Hermaphrodites DO exist, they are people who were born with BOTH sexual organs, being simultaneously men and women, which ties up the line "man, woman, or hermaphrodite" quite nicely.
This post is not about gender assignment or gender identification... In fact it's about breaking FREE of such labels. All you've done in your response is detract from the point of this article.
Manda is SPECIFICALLY stating that nobody should accept their label in life, which is what your argument seems to be about.
I know I am insecure when it comes to gender. Every day and every new person--even a large number of old people--is a struggle to keep my identity from being trampled on and cast aside. Every day people try to file me away into one of those boxes--man? woman? hermaphrodite?--and every day I try to keep from giving up and trying, as I used to try, to fit into one of those boxes.
My insecurity does not make my opinion less valid, just like your intentions do not make your wording less offensive.
My wording, in no way, is offensive, George. You're making a mountain out of a molehill.
You are, purposefully, not addressing the point that my post in no way is about gender assignment. If I had written "choose a damn gender" sure, that's offensive. I didn't. I'm writing about my own sexual, emotional and physical liberation.
Hermaphrodite is NOT offensive. It's a word, a word that means someone was born with two sexual organs. That's how she meant it in context of her article.
Transexual: A person born the wrong gender.
Hermaphrodite: A person born with both genders.
I cannot understand how this is offensive when used in the proper context.
I do not understand why you will not allow me to have taken offense. I do not choose to be offended! I do not understand why you think I would choose to be offended. I do not understand why you think I would argue until I am in tears over something that did not incite in me a visceral reaction which I could not control. I do not understand why you do not think the offense I took is valid.
Manda, I am purposefully not addressing the body of your post because there is nothing I disagree with in the body of your post. I did not mean to detract from your point. All I intended was to point out a wording, just a wording, that made me feel invisible. I thought you would want to know that you were excluding me and people like me, because I thought you would want not to do that. I thought that in the context of the article you were referring to men and women as different genders, not just penises and vaginas, and I wanted to point out that there are people, including me, who are not men and women.
George, I am truly sorry you were offended. I am not trying to exclude anyone. If you know me, if you know how I am and what I stand for, you know that I am not a judgmental or intolerant. I used the words I did to include everyone, not exclude. You may make a suggestion and I may choose to validate it with my response or not. I am a big enough woman to apologize. I have edited the work and I hope it satisfies all points.
-M
I really appreciate your apology and your edit. I am sorry to have hijacked the comment section of your blog to satisfy my need to be recognized, which I know (when I can think clearly) should not always be my first priority. I do know that you are not an intolerant person; perhaps that is why it stung so much initially. Thank you for trying to see where I was coming from.
You're welcome and I hope my edit is, in some way, able to make you feel better.
I'm just glad to know someone's reading carefully enough to be offended.
Again, I'm sorry.
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