Sex: A Reply, A Metaphor and A Ramble

So, Will... It's come time for a reply.

Sex.... What is it? Is it daunting? Is it... beautiful? Is it necessary?
A question I often ask myself, just to see where I am in life, is "Is the relationship making the sex or is the sex making the relationship?"
While it doesn't always need to be taken strictly in those terms (A more open translation being "Is the cake making the icing or is the icing making the cake?"), it helps me realize what is going on around. What is

And for me... Sex is just that. Icing. I don't NEED it. In fact, without cake, I get sick of icing really fast. But on the flip side.... Cake can get a bit boring without icing from time to time, right?

Well maybe you just haven't gotten the kind of cake you need.

Ok, Manda... I get it. You need a balance, right?
Wrong.

Some people can sit down and eat a whole damn tub of icing, fuck the cake. Who needs cake when you've got sugary, amazing icing in front of you?

Some people can sit and eat a cake as is. No extra toppings. They don't need the outside sugar, just what's inside. Who needs icing when you've got moist, delicious cake?

.....And some people get stomach aches from all the sugar. And some peoples' mouths get dry after too much cake.


What is the point of all this obvious, semi-metaphorical rambling, Will?

It's this: Everyone's taste is different. No one is wrong. No one is right. Not when it comes to this basic act. If you leave out all the moral and ethical problems introduced later by humans and their ever-loving need to make things complicated, that's what you get. Variety. The spice of life. The difference between each and every one of us. My brain patterns, just as unique as fingerprints and retinal scans, revealing my thoughts being different from her, her, him and you.

So maybe not everyone wants the icing and maybe not everyone's a fan of cake.

Who cares? You have your body. I have mine. They have theirs.


So, in the end, does it matter; their view?

It doesn't to me. But then... I'm still mixing my batter.

Do What You Want 'Cause A Pirate is Free

I have on my computer many files in which I would be dishonest in referring to as... legal. Movies, television, music, all these things and more sit on my hard drive. I'm a geek, media is my forte. But then I'm also poor, and the Star Trek: The Next Generation DVD set still runs about three hundred and twenty dollars. It's a conundrum, if I had the money I would be more than willing to purchase it, but I don't. So am I so wrong in simply finding it online?

Well, yes.

I find it interesting how the internet culture, and even mainstream culture has vilified the RIAA and MPAA, who are technically the good guys in this little fight for rights. Here we have the people responsible for producing a product and putting it out to market, and another group of people come by and steal that product... How did the thieves become the good guys? Why are so many people rooting for pirates, why are so many people able to become pirates without any moral dilemma?

It's because the MPAA and RIAA make themselves such easy villains. Here we have two groups of people so willing to punish everyone for the crimes of a few. Vaguely legal DRMs install themselves on your computer without your knowledge, many of these programs are harmful and difficult to remove from your system. Movies in the Theaters have anti-piracy commercials stating how wrong stealing movies is to a group of people who just paid for that movie. DVDs as well have these anti-piracy commercials, unskippable, which never reaches the actual pirates as any decent bootlegger can simply remove that trailer without effort. Both companies severely skew the numbers and state that piracy is hurting the industry a lot more than it is. They sue people for thousands of dollars and throw them in jail for months if not years, and for what? A couple MP3s?

So what is the solution? How can these people in the moral right, stop looking like such villains to us? It's pretty simple, all they need to do is embrace digital distribution. By investing in technology that will help keep their products protected, cut down the price from hard copy distribution, and encourage a system that's easy to use and nearly instant, more people will be willing to purchase this media. The forefront of technology and media is changing rapidly, these people are fighting an archaic battle using intimidation and unfair punishment. By easing back and instead trying to develop new technology instead of protecting the old, their standing in the public eye will greatly shift.

In the end, though, there will always be piracy, and they need to accept that. Most all retailers have what they call a Shrink Quota, an amount of theft they accept and account for. Sure they try to actively keep theft down, but they also know it's impossible to stop. The industry is not losing the money they claim, and the artists are not going broke from piracy. What the companies need to do is simply back off a tiny bit, and continue making the things we actually want to spend money on.

Yo ho.

Two References To Zambonis

There once was a man from Peru...


Yeah, I actually wrote that in a word document and then stared at it for an hour. Not my brightest, shining moment.

I'm starting to understand all that rambling Will does about lack of motivation.

I feel like I want to churn something out, need to churn something out because I don't want to be the first person punished on this project (I am saving that honor for Will). I just.. Can't get anything of substance to fall out of my hands. It's pissing me off.

I'm laying in bed, feeling like Death rented a Zamboni and decided to take it for a joy ride over my spine, and I really don't feel like writing.

Usually, I'm a little bit blocked and stumped when I first start but never this bad.

I mean just now I took a twenty minutes between that sentence and this one.

Sometimes, you get disheartened when you can't just tap tap tap tap DONE!

I'm not saying I'm the bees knees or anything but usually I'm pretty good at picking myself up from a rough spot. Today just isn't my day.

I did have a few things I wanted to talk about that I will list in a listy-like format because I'm sick and... not that creative.

1. Readers, I know you're out there. I know because you tell me you read. Either you're lying to me or you're lazy. Either way, shame on you! Leave a comment, a suggestion, a YOU SUCK. Hell, just click the "comment" thingy and type randomly for a few moments just so I can have some small, itsy bitsy scrap of validation. PLEASE.

2... That was really it, I guess. I have no other way to flesh this out.


3. I guess I could start a debate. Will, Universal Health Care is an over-ambitious, foolish thing to consider.



Until next time,

Manda and the Zamboni on her spine

Beginings and Endings

9. “It is as difficult to start things as it is to finish things.”

Finishing something cans sometimes be difficult, from procrastination to general distractions, getting to the end is a chore in itself. Add that to that nibbling self doubt as you come to the end and become more scrutinizing of your work, always going back to change or alter something... With each change the end becomes father away, and every time it comes close more changes are made. It's a cycle of infinite incompletion.

But you know what? Starting something is even harder. I talked before about motivation, so already just sitting down to work is a challenge. But actually getting started? Making that first move even when you have the motivation to do so... It can be nearly impossible. For writers it's that first line, the first hump. The line needs to grab you, it needs to lead you into the rest of the work, simply put it needs to be good. But when you sit down at your word processor, try and think of an opening like that isn't an equivalent to "It was a dark and stormy night."

I think this is because at the beginning you have nothing. Nothing but ideas, maybe a few notes, a few broad concepts of how you want to do the task at hand. You are the farthest you can be from being done. Ending becomes difficult because you have little left to do, so you start going back to make sure everything done was done well... But you know you're almost done, the end is in sight. When you start you have nothing, you have to take the first step.

And that's what it's all about isn't it? That first step, going from zero to one, going from nothing to something. Before starting this article I spent twenty minutes frustrated over how to begin, how to start, how to simply get the ball moving. Momentum is a powerful thing, and with each step towards the end my goal comes closer to me. I move with quickened pace to completion, banging at my keyboard with nary an issue now. I'm almost done. The hardest thing now will be my closing line.

Starting something is harder than finishing. A brick wall standing between you and your goal, it seems impenetrable at first, that first brick seems so secure, so unmovable. But once you start, once you take that first step forward, each brick that falls becomes easier and easier. Nothing to something, it may be only a moment compared to the rest, but it takes a lot to start.

That first step is a doosey.

Justice

I want you to do something for me, don't worry I'm not gonna tell you to get up and do something. This one can be done right here and now. Picture your most cherished, the singular person who you love. It could be a family member, a friend, a lover. It could be your dad, your daughter, wife, or your best friend since childhood. Picture them, let them linger in your mind till you can't help but smile. Do you have them?

Good, now picture someone hurting them...

Picture them in the hospital, they're sobbing or in a coma. They're covered in bandages, they're really badly hurt. Can you feel that sink in your heart? Can you feel that sink fill with rage once you find out someone did this to them, and meant it? Imagine what you would do to this person, the one who hurt your most dear. Don't hold back, be honest with yourself and let the first thought be your answer...

Pretty violent isn't it?

This is why we have the Justice System, why we take the power to punish out of the hands of those wronged, and into the hands of the community. It's because we have those kneejerk reactions. Those swells of rage and hatred, we become less than man. We fill with adrenalin and can't possibly be rational... The slow methodical way out justice system works is meant to temper that fury, temper the hate and the anger. Till at the end all there are is what was done, and what needs to be done.

Justice isn't just about punishing the wicked, it's also about protecting them as well. Making sure the people who do horrible things are treated fairly... Making sure they don't suffer for more than what they did. Justice is a balancing act, thus the scale in Lady Justice's hand. Justice is impartial, thus the blindfold over Lady Justice's eyes. Justice is also powerful, and when it comes, the sword that Lady Justice carries will come to use.

You can talk all you want about corruption in the courts, lawyers manipulating obscure laws to get their clients off free or with less penalty. But at it's heart, our justice system is cold, it's methodical, it's slow, and it's right.

"We can judge a country by the way it treats its prisoners." Winston Churchill

Motivation

I have many times in the past stared at a blank word processor, completely unable to type a single word. I'm a writer, I'd tell myself, at least I would like to be one... So why is it sometimes I cannot put anything down? Why can I sometimes not put to paper any of the dozens of ideas that run through my head at any given time? It's that little bastard we all have to contend with called motivation.

We all have drive, we all want to do something, and we all make an effort to make that something happen. So why does it go away at the worst times? Why do you want to do something, yet still feel like not doing it, where does our motivation go? It seems odd that we just don't want to do what truly fulfills us. That the thing that makes us happy is the last thing we want to do.

Work vs. Reward.

I could write an article, a short story, an entire novel. But it takes a lot of time, effort, and you always risk failure. I have to work hard on my stories, make sure all my ideas fit together perfectly, I have to make sure my style of narration is progressive and fluid, I have to fight again what I want and what works. Then what happens, who reads that? What if they don't like it? All the payoff is so far off and without guarantee. I can easily go off and play a video game instead.

Yeah, a video game. An interactive experience where I'm rewarded for my efforts. Those rewards are swift, come right after a task is complete, and are guaranteed right from the start. Failure isn't a big deal because I haven't put any of myself into this, if I fail I just try again with another life, it's easy. I can do that with many things, movies, television, a book...

Wait a book?

Those easy things, those simple pleasures we distract ourselves with have hours of hard work in them. People who slaved over them to make them happen. People who weren't afraid of a lack of reward. People who found the motivation to sit down, and finish something. And here I am enjoying their work...

And I can tell you this right now, no game, movie, or book can give you a sensation as powerful as knowing you put an effort into something and were rewarded for it. Nothing makes me happier than knowing someone has read my work and enjoys it. That's kind of the point of this blog here, to make me write, to force me to put something down every other day. To teach me how to motivate myself, to learn to not fear failure.

Motivation is something we all have to find, and sometimes fight for. We're fighting ourselves for it, fighting against our vices. But I assure you this, if you can win that fight and put forth an effort, and it doesn't just have to be something creative, the sensation of accomplishment when you DO get that reward is so much better than anything else.

And get to it, there's no extra lives in this game.

Beginnings

Beginnings are... a hassle. You put so much time and effort in such a small part of your life. Beginnings are fleeting, they're moments long, they go even faster than they came. But for some reason we put such great importance on the first anything. The first kiss, the first job, the first lover...

But at the beginning, you're a novice. You're new and untrained, you don't know how to kiss, you need to be trained how to flip burgers, and your first sexual experience is best left unsaid. But for some reason these awkward, untrained, and embarrassing moments are what we spend the most time worrying about, why?

It's because we're told that a first impression is everything. The first time you meet someone, they'll decide how they feel about you within the first hour, and then their mind will never change. What bologna. I can tell you, that bad first impressions, that horrible encounters with someone can be the bases of incredibly strong friendships. And yes, I can prove it...

Manda, my other half when it comes to this site, have been close friends for over a year and a half now. When we first met we talked for a while about various things...But ask either of us what we really remember about our first conversation...

The fight.

We had a heated, dare I say epic, fight over Buffy: The Vampire Slayer on whether or not it was a good show. It got to the point where Manda, fed up with the argument, and hoping that I wasn't completely and utterly hating her left the chat room. After some coaxing from others who had her Yahoo Messenger, she came back apologizing to me.

For what, having an opinion?

She was so sure I hated her, despised her, that she came in apologizing to me for liking a television show. But I can tell you something... it was that fight that made us friends... It's because of that fight that I wanted to get to know her, the reason we took our conversation out of the chat room. We spent all night and into the morning talking to each other.

She's my best friend now.

So I say to you not to put so much effort into those first few minutes... They cannot tell you everything about a person, place, or thing. Because even if you hate it at first, you might find yourself coming to love it.

I mean, if that wasn't true, nobody would like anchovies....

Introductions Post

We are two friends on a mission to write every other day to expand our writing potential while helping each other.



Manda is an idiosyncratic nerd who likes to use big words just to piss off the people around her. She writes mostly poetry with the occasional rant thrown in. She identifies herself as a cynically romantic fool. The bossy one.





Will is an over-analytical geek. An anti-Social social-observer, he considers himself intellectual and overly-opinionated. He writes mostly opinion pieces, never pulling any punches and being honest to a fault. The sarcastic one.